How Sexual Assault Eats Away at College Women’s Confidence
As September goes into full swing, tens of thousands of young women are heading off to college for the first time. And if you know a young woman just starting college, you also know that she鈥檚 beyond excited. But what probably isn鈥檛 on her mind, as she posts photos on Facebook, smiling in her toga with her new suite mates, is that she鈥檚 entering the highest risk time of her college career in terms of sexual assault鈥攁 period before Thanksgiving known for freshman girls as 鈥淭he Red Zone.鈥
As these women prepare for one of the many parties they鈥檒l undoubtedly attend over the next four years, they likely aren鈥檛 thinking about how the risk of , especially when the home team wins. Nor, I suspect, are they thinking about the abysmal track records of many universities when it comes to handling sexual assault (these numbers are even worse for sexual assault prevention). In light of the possibility that Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos might Title IX guidelines on campus sexual assault, it鈥檚 unlikely that this situation will improve any time soon.
I wish women didn鈥檛 have to think about those things. To be honest, I hadn鈥檛 even initially thought about discussing sexual violence at a women鈥檚 empowerment workshop, which I organized this summer for 15 female college and graduate student interns at Ashoka, where I direct our gender equality work. The goal of the workshop was to help these young women to tap into their strengths rather than be beleaguered by their weaknesses; to work toward becoming leaders with the capacity and fortitude to change the world around them. I wanted it to be positive, because far too often when a conversation is centered around women, it turns to issues of sexual violence and victimhood.
But I quickly learned that there was a glaring omission not only from the workshop鈥檚 agenda, but on a national level, too, around how even the possibility of sexual assault can affect young women at this point in their lives. I realized that we can鈥檛 truly claim to empower young women without confronting an epidemic of sexual assault.
At first, nothing about the workshop had been dark. Until I asked: What are some of the ways society knocks down girls鈥 confidence? I expected responses such as 鈥渢here aren鈥檛 enough female role models鈥 or 鈥済irls are portrayed in demeaning ways in the media.鈥 But the very first response, by a young woman named Lizette,* was about sexual assault.
Lizette mentioned how she鈥檇 recently heard about a case in which a woman had been assaulted and no one had been convicted, despite troves of evidence. That then opened the door to what became a sobering discussion: One by one, the girls talked about incidents of sexual assault that had happened on their college campuses. These weren鈥檛 solely tell-all stories about their own experiences, but, rather, they were often about the experiences of their friends and fellow students鈥攁nd about the campus climate it created for women like them.
The young women talked about how poorly their schools had handled those cases. They spoke to how knowing that their schools didn鈥檛 seem to be taking sexual assault seriously made them feel unsafe. The impression they got from their schools was, essentially, a see-no-evil message that many schools don鈥檛 do enough to value women鈥檚 physical integrity: We鈥檒l gladly take your tuition money, but we don鈥檛 really care about what happens to you while you鈥檙e here, is what far too many of them are hearing.
One girl in the group was scared even to start her freshman year, knowing that 1 out of every 4 college girls is sexually assaulted. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 even want to go to college,鈥 she said, only half-jokingly.聽
Another girl, who attended a prestigious school on the east coast, was angry that all of her school鈥檚 preventative mechanisms for sexual assault mainly targeted girls. Don鈥檛 do this, don鈥檛 wear this, don鈥檛 leave your friends alone, don鈥檛 drink things you鈥檝e left unattended. 鈥淏eing the victim all the time is tiring,鈥 she said. And not only is it tiring, it also sends a message that, at some point, women will be victims. It鈥檚 the utter reverse of empowering.
So what鈥檚 it look like for women, often stripped of power on campus, to take it back?
Some colleges seem to be trying to take steps in the right direction, hiring dynamic speakers to organize discussions, often handing out rape whistles at the end of them. But these one-off initiatives aren鈥檛 stopping assault, and they鈥檙e hardly encouraging an active effort to achieve, and in turn respect, gender equality. In fact, you could even say that this sort of thinking, in a way, reinforces the role of women as victims, since it typically focuses on self-defense as opposed to tackling more fundamental causes of assault. Another focus of many schools鈥攅nsuring consent鈥攊s also insufficient, because it ignores the power structures that foster sexual assault in the first place.
To start addressing the problem of sexual assault on campus, we need to think much more comprehensively鈥攁nd this includes making men and boys key parts of the conversation. Gary Barker, the president and CEO of Promundo, an organization that conducts gender equality training with men and boys across the globe, agrees that we need to radically broaden the scope of who鈥檚 involved in conversations about assault on campus.
鈥淭here鈥檚 no requirement across college campuses that administrators must implement evidence-based sexual assault prevention programs for male students. That鈥檚 staggering,鈥 says Barker. He argues that, as an initial matter, we ought to raise our expectations of male college students鈥攁nd of men and boys more broadly. 鈥淓ven if boys are told 鈥榙on鈥檛 rape鈥 and they don鈥檛, aren鈥檛 we setting the bar extremely low? Is all we expect of boys in college in terms of embracing equality is not raping their peers?鈥
Organizations like Promundo鈥攖hat help men to embrace gender equality on all levels so they actually support their female peers鈥攁re important. They encourage male students to feel comfortable talking about their emotions, as opposed to taking them out on others in perhaps violent outbursts, and they push them to speak out when they see other male students acting disrespectfully, holding them accountable for their actions. What鈥檚 more, they encourage young men to adopt healthy, caring versions of masculinity, ones that liberate them from stereotypical perceptions of what it means to 鈥渂e a man.鈥
And, of course, complementing programs for men and boys should be ones that lift up women and girls, too. Specifically, these programs ought to help women leverage their strengths and work with them to point out how to lead in male-dominated environments. They also should function as a sort of safety net, such as by encouraging women to support peers who鈥檝e been assaulted or are facing discrimination鈥攗ltimately showing universities that women aren鈥檛 content with being treated as the 鈥渓esser sex.鈥 聽
In short, colleges need to provide the kinds of resources and support networks that will, at the end of the day, encourage women to go forward into their futures with excitement, as opposed to being hamstrung by a toxic trend that鈥檚 completely preventable.
Maybe then we鈥檒l hear less 鈥淚鈥檓 scared to go to college鈥 and more 鈥淚 can鈥檛 wait to go.鈥
*Name has been changed to protect confidentiality.